Casting Aside Our Fictitious Selves
Do you ever feel like you're hiding your true self from the world? Are you frightened that people may not like the woman you are behind the perfect mask? I saw a quote recently that woke me up to the fact that we need to stop playing the roles that no longer suit us or serve us. It's time to be courageous and own up to our authentic selves. It's hard but it's worth it.I saw this quote below recently and thought about how we hide behind a garment of acceptability - one which smothers us if we wear it for too long. It can stifle our true nature and make us feel like we're constantly squeezing ourselves into molds that are too small or the wrong fit.
We can feel like we've dumbed ourselves down and made ourselves more "beige" to keep from causing ripples. We apologize more than we need to, and we try really hard to not offend anyone or expect to have things our way. Those closest to us may not even see that this isn't who we truly are, and that's because our mask/garment is so firmly in place that they don't know who we truly are either.
It's time to be fearlessly authentic - to stop apologizing for the real women we are....Being prepared to tread on some toes if need be. Being honest and open. Being confident enough to claim what's ours - friendships, love and all the other little aspects that make up our life. No more hiding behind our "fictitious selves" and that doesn't mean tha we have to be "loud and proud" - just that we take ownership of our needs and being prepared to take up the gauntlet of what that might mean for the years to come. No change comes without pain and growth requires us to step out of the comfortable groove we've been stuck in.
We can allow ourselves the time and space to grow gradually into our true selves. We don't have to throw off the veil overnight - I'm not sure that's even possible for a lot of us! The secret is to choose one small facet at a time that you want to release and replace with what you feel is more "you". It might be learning to say "No" to requests that drain you, it might be to change your job, or to discard an unhealthy friendship or relatonship. It will look different for each of us, but I think if we're honest with ourselves, we know where to start and then it's just a matter of being brave enough to take the leap.
Trying To Fit In
We all reach a point in our life (sometimes many points) where we need to stop for a moment and reassess and readjust. We have to look hard at the person we see in the mirror and what we think is important, the things we do in life to keep all the balls we're juggling up in the air. Often we see a woman who had assumed a persona that fitted in with what she thought other people wanted - and that isn't necessarily who she truly is in her heart.We can feel like we've dumbed ourselves down and made ourselves more "beige" to keep from causing ripples. We apologize more than we need to, and we try really hard to not offend anyone or expect to have things our way. Those closest to us may not even see that this isn't who we truly are, and that's because our mask/garment is so firmly in place that they don't know who we truly are either.
Breaking The Mold
It comes down to claiming the right to live in our authenticity, and being prepared to accept the fallout that occurs when we stop trying to fit ourselves into what we imagine others want us to be. It can be a struggle at first to own up to who we are - to be real enough to drop the facade and to allow others to see our true face. What if they don't like us? What if they reject us? What if we're not as loved as we were before? These are the risks involved when we open ourselves up to authentic living - but isn't it better to be liked for who we really are, rather than for the false person we've been conjuring up to hide behind?
Becoming Authentic Takes Time
I first began this process several years ago - it was a gradual change that came from no longer wanting to be a people pleaser and I wanted to stop living a pretend life. It used to feel like my "real" life, but underneath I knew I was pretending and hiding. I can look back now and see the growth and change that's occurred in my life over the last decade. Finding true friends who love us for who we are, and who cheer each other on and encourage each other to be our true selves is the key to beginning the journey. It's a joy to embrace our authenticity and to do so in a way that's kind and gracious, you don't have to stomp on others to claim your place in the world.We can allow ourselves the time and space to grow gradually into our true selves. We don't have to throw off the veil overnight - I'm not sure that's even possible for a lot of us! The secret is to choose one small facet at a time that you want to release and replace with what you feel is more "you". It might be learning to say "No" to requests that drain you, it might be to change your job, or to discard an unhealthy friendship or relatonship. It will look different for each of us, but I think if we're honest with ourselves, we know where to start and then it's just a matter of being brave enough to take the leap.
What Do You Think?
Are you casting aside your fictitious self? Are you living authentically and moving on from being a people pleaser? Have you claimed the right to be your authentic self? If not, I hope you find the courage to do so before too much more time flies by.
