Are You Investing In Your Marriage?
When you've been married for a long time you come to realize how important it is to invest in the person who you have made a lifelong vow to. It's so easy to take each other for granted and to not show appreciation. It's also easy to make "funny" comments about the other person that can be hurtful or unhelpful.We need to continually remind ourselves that this is the person we've made a lifelong commitment to - the person we promised to love, honour and cherish. The first and foremost thing we can do is treat that person with the care and devotion that we'd like to receive. They are our first priority and their welfare should always be in the front of our minds.
My husband rarely reads my blog , he's not particularly bothered about what I put in here because he knows that I wouldn't be using it as a tool to sling off at him or at our marriage. In the past there would have been times when we made jokes at the other's expense, but as time goes on, and we've grown in maturity, we're finding that we are kinder to each other and we don't need that aspect of humour in our lives. Mocking other people just isn't as funny as I used to think it was. Humour at the expense of another person (whether it's a loved one or just someone we know), is easy but ultimately it's destructive and hurtful - so why go there?
Avoid The Negative Jokes
I've read online posts and facebook memes that take a shot at husbands and their little quirks. I think anyone who has been around a marriage for a long time knows that there are small things that can drive us crazy and it is easy to focus on these and make fun of them. It's easy to "take the mickey" out of someone you know so well. It gives us a smile at the time but doesn't do anything to build up the man we love. Is it more important to support your spouse or to score a cheap laugh at their expense?My husband rarely reads my blog , he's not particularly bothered about what I put in here because he knows that I wouldn't be using it as a tool to sling off at him or at our marriage. In the past there would have been times when we made jokes at the other's expense, but as time goes on, and we've grown in maturity, we're finding that we are kinder to each other and we don't need that aspect of humour in our lives. Mocking other people just isn't as funny as I used to think it was. Humour at the expense of another person (whether it's a loved one or just someone we know), is easy but ultimately it's destructive and hurtful - so why go there?
Cheer Each Other On
If you don't have your husband's back and he doesn't have yours, then there is no safe place to fall. There is nowhere to go when your feelings are hurt or when someone is mean spirited or using you as comic relief. Some couples may be able to use this type of humour and bounce off each other and not have any problem with it at all, but I am just finding that it is too negative and I really need to be built up and not torn down at this stage of life - and the least I can do is show the same courtesy to my husband who I love more than anyone else.If in doubt, I choose the higher ground - the place I want to come from is love and affirmation - being a cheerleader and support, not the person who scores cheap shots off an easy target. I find it's not a nice place to be in when I'm with someone who is laughing at another person - to their face or behind their back - it's just not kind, and we need all the kindness we can get in our world today don't we?
Be Your Partner's Number One Fan
My aim for the years ahead is to speak life (and light) into my marriage. Occasionally there might be a misunderstanding or a misinterpretation of what's been said, but that rarely occurs these days and being honest and apologizing if it does is the first step towards it not happening again. I certainly don't want to be poisoning the life I share with the one person who has stuck by me through thick and thin. I don't want to respond in kind if he slips up and says something that I feel is hurtful. I want us to be each other's cheer squad and know that we have each other's backs through thick and thin - that's long term love and commitment.I think a sign of a great marriage is being able to go out into the world and to know that the other person has your back, that you can rely on them to have something nice to say about you and to know that you can rely on them to be your safe place. How sad it would be to have a life partner who you can't trust to not use you as fodder for a mean comment or joke? I think that's an incredibly sad way to live and I certainly don't want to ever be a part of a marriage where that's the normal way to behave.
How Are You Doing?
Are you someone who resists the urge to take a swipe at your loved one? Do you look for ways to encourage rather than mock? Let's all take the high ground in our relationships and aim for kindness every time.
