Finding The Gift Of Self-Acceptance
Accepting the changes that come with age is a challenge for a lot of women. As I move through the second half of life I hear women around me bemoaning the demise of their youthful looks, the advent of "laugh lines", and the relentless onslaught of menopause with all its associated issues.What I've come to realize is that you can put a lot of time and effort into fighting the ageing process and trying to pretend you're still thirty, or you can redefine beauty. I don't find a botox-ed, primped, preened and makeup laden older woman particularly beautiful. Yet, when I see a vibrant woman living in her own identity and investing in the lives of those around her, I am always brought up short in admiration, and I'm often a little envious.
What Makes A Beautiful Older Woman?
Two traits that always shine out from this type of woman are integrity and authenticity. These women have chosen to focus on the characteristics within themselves that enhance their confidence and self-worth, and from there they reach out to others without feeling threatened or needing to compare. These two characteristics are almost the same in some ways, but they also co-exist and enhance each other and can make a mature woman truly beautiful.Here's a few little quotes that sum up what I'm trying to say:
Beauty is what you feel about yourself - not what you see in the mirror.Beauty is being the best possible version of yourself.I do not want to be beautiful - I want to be contagious and radiant.
The Two Best Beauty Products
1. Integrity
There are a lot of definitions out there for the word "integrity" but for me it always means that someone is honest and true to their values in all situations. I have no real problem with someone who openly goes about screwing people over - I know it is who they are and I expect it of them. I can be prepared and question their motives because I know what they're like. It's the person who you think you know from what they say, but who then acts in a way that you never expected - they're the ones who show a true lack of integrity.As I get older I feel the need to invest in relationships with people who I can trust. I don't want to make excuses for the "friend" who let me down or the workmate who went behind my back. I love people who do what they say they'll do - who "walk their talk" and who can be relied on to be loyal and caring. Part time friendships and people who are only there in the good times are just not part of my world any longer. I need to surround myself with people I can trust and who I know won't let me down (or at least not mean to let me down) because they care about me too.
2. Authenticity
One of the benefits of getting older is that you start to get a real handle on who you are. I know what I like and don't like and I know what is important to me. My values are an integral part of my character and I know that I would never deliberately hurt someone or do something at the expense of another person's feelings. I love people who have accepted themselves and owned their flaws and who are out there living life as the individual they are - and not as a clone of who they think they should be.I bumped into an acquaintance the other day, she is married to a doctor and does her utmost to project the 'serene doctor's wife, perfect mother' persona, but you can see that she is struggling. When I mentioned to a couple of other people that I had seen her, they both remarked on how thin her veneer was and how easily it could all fall down if anything goes haywire. How awful to walk such a narrow line - to always be trying to be perfect or to be what your husband thinks you should be, or to be keeping up appearances. I want to celebrate who I am - flaws and all. I don't want to apologize for being the woman I am - I have value and worthwhile attributes to contribute to this world - and being authentic is a big part of that.
It's Time To Own Our Authentic Selves
So let's celebrate this second half of life by being our own authentic selves and acting with integrity in everything we do. Let's not fall into the trap of people pleasing or self promotion or any of the other snares that are out there - instead let's be real and be proud of who we are as mature women.
