The Journey of Life Isn't Always Comfortable
I read an Anthony Bourdain quote that was referring to travel and it said:“Travel isn’t always pretty. It isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it hurts, it even breaks your heart. But that’s okay. The journey changes you; it should change you. It leaves marks on your memory, on your consciousness, on your heart, and on your body. You take something with you. Hopefully, you leave something good behind.”
As I read it, I thought that although he was referring to the experiences of travel, it also described life in all it's messy glory too. I took the liberty of making a small change to the first word (changing it from "travel" to "Life") and created my own version of his quote below.
We all want life to be perfect and shiny and we get upset or disappointed when it doesn't go our way, but life has so many other aspects to it that are enriching and grow us as people (even if we aren't too thrilled about it at the time!) It's often the difficult times that have the most impact on us and teach us about depth and compassion. Living a shallow and easy life where we avoid any pain also means we stifle our growth and never develop the character traits that help us become well rounded adults.
Life Experiences We Wouldn't Choose
Life deals out all sorts of experiences and not all of them are what we would choose if we had any say in the matter. None of us want to be hurt, or lonely, or disappointed. We all want to skip over the chapters that are less than perfect and move on to the ones where we're the hero, or where we live happily ever after.Life doesn't work that way, we begin in Chapter One and have to work our way through every page until we reach the end of our book. The interesting thing is, when we stop and look back for a moment, it's those difficult and messy chapters that often stick in our minds and have a depth and resonance to them that we're glad we experienced and learnt the lessons they taught us about ourselves and others. Here's three little examples that relate to the quote:
1. Life Hurts Us
We get hurt by other people - they disappoint us, betray our trust, let us down, love us less than we love them, and they display all manner of other human frailties. It would be so nice to always be surrounded by perfect people who buffer our way in the world, but life isn't like that. Our family and friends are just normal people who are doing their best and often that best is less than we may have hoped for.
It's up to us to look beyond their short comings and see the intent, the soul, of the person and to recognize that they are just as flawed as we are. I think part of getting older is that we can take on some of the responsibility of being the good person, the kind person, the forgiving person, the person who loves despite being hurt - that's how we learn to lead the way.
It's up to us to look beyond their short comings and see the intent, the soul, of the person and to recognize that they are just as flawed as we are. I think part of getting older is that we can take on some of the responsibility of being the good person, the kind person, the forgiving person, the person who loves despite being hurt - that's how we learn to lead the way.
2. Life Changes Us
The changes life brings to us can be good or bad and that's determined by how we respond to them. There are people who are hurt or who have had really tough lives and they allow that baggage to colour their world-view forever. There are people who are angry or disillusioned or damaged and they always have something or someone to blame for how they've turned out. It becomes who they are and that bitterness eats away at their hearts.
The alternative is to release our baggage and walk away from it. We can choose our attitude and move on from past hurts or upsets. Bad stuff will always happen (to some more than others) and that's life - how we choose to deal with it and how we turn it around into something worthwhile is up to us. I'd rather be known as someone who overcame adversity, rather than seeing myself as a life-long victim of my circumstances - taking our power back comes from choosing our response and not letting the bad stuff win.
The alternative is to release our baggage and walk away from it. We can choose our attitude and move on from past hurts or upsets. Bad stuff will always happen (to some more than others) and that's life - how we choose to deal with it and how we turn it around into something worthwhile is up to us. I'd rather be known as someone who overcame adversity, rather than seeing myself as a life-long victim of my circumstances - taking our power back comes from choosing our response and not letting the bad stuff win.
3. Life Is Fluid
We bring things to our life and we take things from it. As I grow older I can see that what we leave behind is what is really important. Wallowing in self pity or closing our hearts to others leaves us dried up and bitter. Deciding life hasn't been fair to us doesn't change anything - accepting the hand we've been dealt and making the most of it is what counts in the end.
We set a strong example when we overcome challenges and accept what life gives us with grace and a smile. Laughter and joy and a good heart are what I want to leave as my legacy. I want people who know me to say - she grabbed life with both hands and made the most of every minute, and she did it with compassion and grace and gratitude.
We set a strong example when we overcome challenges and accept what life gives us with grace and a smile. Laughter and joy and a good heart are what I want to leave as my legacy. I want people who know me to say - she grabbed life with both hands and made the most of every minute, and she did it with compassion and grace and gratitude.
What Do You Think?
Are you letting the difficulties of life win? Or are you choosing to respond with positivity and grace? I hope your difficult chapters don't wear you down, but rather give you something to look back on with gratitude for the growth they brought into your life.
