Do We Need A "Burning Passion"?
I've read many, many articles on "finding your passion" that tell me that my life is not complete unless I find something that I am completely passionate about. I think there is a lot to be said for swapping the word "passionate" with the word "enthusiastic". That way you can embrace lot of different experiences without being consumed by just one.
There are far too many things in life that interest me - I want to spread
myself wider than just being focused and
passionate
about one specific area. I want to embrace all the different things that
come my way with enthusiasm and zest and decide as I go along - whether
they're important enough to keep in my life, or something I can cheerfully
move on from. I don't want to be locked in to just one "Passion" that
defines me. But I'm wondering if I'm the exception to the rule these
days?
For example, I love my husband, but then along came our kids - and I love
them too, then along came their partners who are pretty terrific in their
own right. Next are the grandbabies who are just as fascinating and
absorbing. Putting all your passion and love into one person precludes the
joy and enrichment of extending that circle of love to others. I read a
book a long time ago by Sheldon Vanauken called "A Severe Mercy", Sheldon was a friend of C.S. Lewis, and he and his wife had an
intense, overpowering, passionate love for each other that allowed no room
for anyone else - including children. His wife's early death was referred
to as 'a severe mercy' because the intensity of their love was ultimately
unsustainable and by dying she saved him from facing its eventual
decline.
Can You Have More Than One Love?
Despite knowing that all-consuming love for one person can lead to
disaster, there are still those who are looking for their soulmate - the
one person who can complete them. They dismiss so many potential
partners because they don't feel that immediate burning passion that
they're sure will be the indicator of undying love. Have we been
brainwashed by the romance novels and are we setting ourselves up for
disappointment?
Do You Need To Be Passionate About Your Job?
I'm noticing it's the same with career choices these days too. Remember
when people stayed in the same job for 25 years and received a gold watch?
Now we're chopping and changing jobs willy nilly because we're sure
there's something better around the corner (I know I've been guilty of
this one!) We start in Job A and then we move onto Job B because it looked
like it would provide us with more engagement, or better pay, or a
promotion, then it starts to become mundane, then before we know it we're
looking around for Job C, D or E. Because a job can't just be something we
do to bring in an income, it has to be so much more.
Perhaps we need to take a step back and be grateful we have employment
and not expect it to provide an all-encompassing life experience? Could we
just go to work, do our best, enjoy some of it, put up with other bits,
and then come home and find other things to top up what our job doesn't
supply us with? Why put all that pressure on ourselves to find the perfect
job that meets our every need?
Here's a couple of quotes about unreal job expectations that I found
online:
Why Not Have Many Passions?
I'm wondering if we expect too much from life these days? Our ancestors
didn't expect to have jobs that made them leap out of bed with excitement
when their alarm went off, they didn't assume their marriages would be
fairytales that bards sang about, they didn't have one driving passion to
the exclusion of everything else. Life was hard and they focused on
getting through each day with their level of happiness and fulfillment
being measured by having a job that put food on the table, and a healthy
family was an added bonus.
It seems that today we have more time, and the hand to mouth existence of
our predecessors has long gone. So, instead, we're looking to find one
powerful focus and pour all our energy and attention into it. If we don't
feel a whole-hearted 100% commitment to it then we should walk away and
find something else - because it must be the wrong thing for us. Maybe
we've gone too far down the rabbit hole of self-indulgence and it's time
to pull back a little?
For me, this means spreading my need for fulfillment over several areas -
some will have more meaning and commitment, some will have less - but
together they fill my life with variety and purpose and joy. By
approaching life like this, it takes the pressure off my husband to be my
one consuming love, it stops my job being "who I am", and it frees me to
enjoy each of my interests without my expectations being dashed when they
don't meet my every need, or bring me to peaks of happiness every
day.
