How To Die Without Regrets

The Five Regrets of the Dying

Bronnie Ware was a pallative care nurse who discovered there were five regrets that were common to those she cared for in their last days. She wrote a book about these five regrets in 2009 and they've woken a lot of us up to the fact that life is short and we don't want to be at the end of our days regretting what we could have fixed in the years leading up to that point.

The Five Regrets Bonnie shares

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

How To Beat the Five Regrets

1. Be True To Yourself

Why wait until you're on your death bed to realize that you should have lived your life differently? Why not start now and put some positive energy into living a life that is so rich and full that it leaves you with no regrets when it's time to leave this earth behind?

Do you have a dream you've been nurturing in your heart but have pushed to the back of your priority list because you're busy looking after everyone else? Are you too busy to invest some of your time in following that dream? Maybe you need to find a little bit of space for yourself - stop for a moment and jot that dream down on paper - make it real - then decide what you're going to do about it.

Time flies by and if you spend all of it running around after others then you may just miss finding out who you truly are, and in the process you'll miss out on the joy of living an authentic life. Why not take a core values quiz? Drill down to what is meaningful to you and start investing some of your time in developing your character and shaping your future.

2. Figure Out What's Important

When you stop the hamster wheel long enough to focus in on what you really value, it will always come back to a number of different areas - it will never be just your job, or just your family, or just your hobby, or just your latest fad. There will be a combination of factors that make you who you are. Don't let your job and the need to earn as much money as possible become your only priority.

Invest time in all the facets of your life. Don't spend so much time building your career that you neglect your partner or your children, your friends, or yourself. Look beyond the almighty dollar and figure out what else matters - and then use your time wisely.

3. Speak Up and Be Vulnerable

We are so protective of our hearts - nobody wants to be hurt and we often don't say the things that need to be said in case we expose ourselves and open ourselves to rejection. I totally understand that (I'm always second guessing how much to share and how much to protect). The thing is, if we don't allow ourselves to be vulnerable, if we keep our feelings locked inside, then those we love may have no idea of how important they are to us. 

It's time to open up and to invest ourselves in our relationships, we need to tell others that we love them and share how we feel. Don't let an opportunity pass by where you could tell someone how much they mean to you. Friendships and family take time and emotional investment but what we reap is priceless.

4. Invest In Your Friendships

This is such a turbulent area for a lot of us. We make friends so easily when we're young. Children and teenagers always seem to gravitate to each other and form close bonds. We also connect with those we work with, those we meet in various social arenas, or even the parents of our children's friends. We think those friendships will last forever - but time has a different idea. Things drift, people change, they move to new areas of life, they physically change address, they may even betray us in some way. Friendships get lost as life moves on.

It's easy to let friends drift away, we assume that new friends will appear and there'll always be others to share our lives with. New friends are wonderful, but old friends are invaluable. There's nothing like knowing someone who has been with you for decades of friendship - who knows you well and is there to support you when you're going through a tough time. Hold those friendships tight - follow up when they start to move away - don't let them go without making the effort to find out why. You'll never meet anyone who can replace a friend who's known you forever.

5. Choose To Be Positive

Life is pretty great when you stop for a moment and appreciate it. Gratitude is the key to being happy with our lives - contentment brings joy. Those who are discontent, who feel they're missing out, who don't appreciate the small pleasures that come their way - they're the ones who become bitter in later life. We all know the "grumpy old men" and the "miserable old women" - often they're just people who allowed the negatives to seep in and who didn't take the time to stop and count their blessings regularly.

Don't be that person! Don't let bitterness, resentment, anger, envy, or negativity be your go-to reaction. It all comes down to choice - and that choice is in your hands. Nobody forces you to be miserable. Life isn't always fair, there will be people who get an easier ride than you, but you still get to choose how you deal with that - it doesn't change the circumstances, but it makes a huge difference to your happiness levels if you choose positivity and joy.

Dying Without Regrets Is All About Choice

It's up to us how we choose to spend our days, how we respond to our circumstances, and how much value we place on our relationships. Living a life that brings us joy day to day is the key to dying well. Not every moment of life will be packed with excitement and fireworks, but finding within ourselves the ability to choose gratitude, to choose positivity, to choose to respond with an open heart, to choose to make relationships a priority.....these all lead to a regret-free life (and death). Choose wisely my friend.